Pleasurati

Dark Helmet: Who is he?
Colonel Sandurz: He is an Asshole, Sir
Dark Helmet: I know that! What's his name?
Colonel Sandurz: That is his name, Sir. Asshole, Major Asshole!
Dark Helmet: And his cousin?
Colonel Sandurz: He is an Asshole too, Sir! Gunner's Mate, first class, Philip Asshole.
Dark Helmet: How many Assholes we got on this ship anyhow?
(Entire bridge crew stands up and raises a hand)
Entire Bridge Crew: Yo!!!
Dark Helmet: I knew it! I'm surrounded by assholes!

According to the free dictionary, the word asshole is a vulgar slang to describe:

1. The anus.
2. A thoroughly contemptible, detestable person.
3. The most miserable or undesirable place in a particular area.


1. The Anus (Asshole as a noun and subject)

The word "Asshole" is rarely used as a noun in the context of describing the aperture between your butt cheeks for the elimination of waste anymore. However, there are times when you will still need to call an asshole an asshole. Example of "Asshole" as a subject: "Fuck! My asshole is on fire! Damn that spicy curry I had yesterday." Example of "Asshole" as a noun "Damn those haemorrhoids! I can't even take a proper crap with those bloody piles blocking my asshole."


2. A thoroughly contemptible, detestable person. (Asshole as an adjective)
3. The most miserable or undesirable place in a particular area.

These days, "Asshole" is commonly applied as an adjective used in a derogative context An example of "Asshole" used as an adjective: "You can be such an asshole that to talk to you I have to shove my head up my own ass, turn myself inside out and make my crap hole my mouth!"

A third application for "Asshole" would be as a proper noun. "Asshole" is this case is usually used when you do not know a person but are eager to start a confrontation. For example, "Hey! Is your name Asshole?" or "I knew someone called Dickhead, are you by any chance his brother Asshole?"

Now that you have had your lesson in Asshology and it's application, you may want to know what makes an "Asshole".

This song will clue you in:



Upon knowing what an Asshole is, you may want to recognise them:




Or if you are like me, and you're too lazy to speak, you can always wear your words:



If you wish to further your study in Asshology, visit The International Institute for the Research of Assholism, they teach you how to categorise the Assholes in your life.

Finally, I wish to dedicate this song to all the Assholes I've encountered and future Assholes I will be encountering :




The Asshole Song - Jimmy Buffet